The holidays really are incredible, and not in a \u201cyum, mistletoe and gelt!!\u201d sense, but as a societal entity that\u2019s simultaneously unifying and polarizing, i.e.,<\/p>\n
The Holidays, when we reconnect with our families and everything twinkles and there are all the parties and treats and songs and it\u2019s just big magic all over! Yay!!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n \u2013 and\/also \u2013<\/p>\n The Holidays, when we reconnect with our families and everything twinkles and there are all the parties and treats and songs and it\u2019s just big hassle all over. Boo.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Now, if you\u2019re on Team Yay \u2013 I\u2019m (half) on your crew. Your decorations are gorgeous and your home smells delicious. Eat stuffing for me. Keep up the good work!<\/p>\n If you\u2019re a member of Team Boo \u2013 I\u2019m half on your squad too. Come sit by me and let\u2019s have a chat.<\/p>\n Now that we\u2019re in the midst of this potential pitfall extravaganza of roasted proteins, indoctrinated consumerism, and rampant coquito-fueled emotions, it seems like a good time to share a taste of an idea I\u2019ve been saut\u00e9ing in the ol\u2019 brainpan. We all know this can be a fraught time for even the most \u2018functional\u2019 families, or else we\u2019d not be annually splashed with waves of think pieces and YouTube videos offering helpful tips on how to navigate it.<\/p>\n [FWIW, animal QT, dance classes, avoidance, long <\/i>phone calls, and meditation have been my go-to coping mechanisms this year and \u2026 well, I\u2019m still here, still cute, and still chasing freedom, so.]<\/p>\n Anyway, my idea goes something like this: in the infinite spacetime wherein we inhabit only an energetic form, we just sorta hover about doing whatever until we turn to ourselves and go: \u201cLimitless unity and abundance are super cool, but it might be a kick to have a physical structure for a while, no? Take a run at mortality. Experience sorrow and joy, get smoke in our eyes, have sex, and eat omelets. Just to see how long it takes to remember \u2026 \u2013 \u201d<\/p>\n \u2013 and the next thing we know, we\u2019re embodied. Full of organs and identity and physical functions and jumbly bits, surrounded on all sides by other<\/i> bodies with completely different versions of all the same stuff. Energy orbs encased in suits made of matter, basically. Celestial-pigs-in-cosmic-blankets who bloop <\/i>into and out of each other\u2019s fields of existence, all while attempting to recall truth we forget we forgot, which is that we\u2019re miraculous tangible expressions of [insert preferred honorific<\/i>]. And all the attempting, all that work to remember can get sticky and weird because we do a stellar job of inspiring ourselves \u2013 and each other \u2013 to forget again and again.<\/p>\n *Exemplary anecdote: a few Christmases ago, a dapper and (usually) clever family friend gave me a deadline of a year to find a fianc\u00e9.<\/p>\n A DEADLINE.<\/p>\n Now, I know Elder Dapper said what he said because <\/i>he knows I\u2019m lovely, well-dressed, and clever \u2013 which is love\/abundance consciousness \u2013 but that didn\u2019t stop his fear\/scarcity consciousness from deciding it was cool to try (even in jest) to enforce judgment and limitation on a deeply personal life situation about which he knows exceptionally little. <\/i>It was a harmful waste of time and energy, and it called my fear consciousness out to play because let\u2019s just say I met him where he was in the moment, and Kitten has claws.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Plus it got him written about in this essay, so there\u2019s that.*<\/p>\n You see how all of that STUFF can become complicated, especially when a fellow embodied orb temporarily loses its entire mind and peppers you with upsetting questions like \u201cWhen are you finally<\/i> gonna settle down\/get a real job\/make babies\/stop refusing to meet our projected expectations of you?\u201d when all you wanna do is peacefully watch Die Hard and demolish a bowl of sweet potato mash?<\/p>\n