If you\u2019re reading this near time of publication, Mercury, Saturn, Pluto, and Venus are all currently retrograde, which is a fairly large deal for reasons I won\u2019t go into here since a) a smooth web search will reward you with appropriate, myriad expertise I\u2019m largely unqualified to offer and b) I\u2019d rather take the space to tell you about how contemplating this concept inspired me to envision all the planets, having sprouted cartoon limbs, dressed in jogging gear. Retro jogging gear, specifically. Shiny tracksuits, itty-bitty running shorts, headbands. Color and behaviorally coordinated. Zero arch support in ye \u2018olde sneakers.<\/p>\n
You\u2019re picturing this, yes? Nice.<\/p>\n
Anyway, their orbits appear as an Olympic track, of course. Given how a major part of their job is to run in circles (ellipses) for (what we\u2019ll call) \u201cforever\u201d. And while we <\/em>know\/suspect\/maintain this as our current best-educated guess that their marathon maintains Universal homeostasis, what if \u2013 all things being equal in the realm of infinite possibility \u2013 these (now heavily anthropomorphized) planets get bored with certain aspects of their eternal elliptical? What if they decide to switch things up by taking a few laps in reverse direction? For: the heck of shits-n-giggles. For: pattern interruption.<\/p>\n Also probably because running backward is never not hilarious.<\/p>\n